BDSM Research

A Beginner’s Guide To Dominance And Submission

BDSM was quite a niche almost underground activity until 50 Shades of Grey came along. After watching this film, more and more vanilla men and women were curious about the dominant-submissive relationship between Grey and Ana. Nevertheless, figuring out what dominance or submission is all about bothers many beginners. This guide may help to solve your problems and provide a quick way for you to get started.

Definition of Dominance And Submission

Dom is the person who has been given consent to have power or control over another individual in BDSM practice. They expect to be pleased and demand obedience.

Sub is the person who gives up power and control of his or her body and actions to the Dom. They have the desire to please the Dom and always put the needs of their partners above everything else.

Dominance and submission is about one partner who dominates over the other because of the power they have in their relationship. It is easy to confuse with SM. SM is a kind of physical sensation whereas dominance and submission are more about emotional and psychological. Some people use dominance and submission only during sex life, while others extend it outside the bedroom. Besides, the roles of Dom and Sub aren’t necessarily sexed, because you can get switches and freely move between being a dominant partner and a submissive partner.

Sexy Games to Play

Role Play

It’s perfect for beginners who want to explore dominance and submission. You can try out king or queen and servant, student and teacher or detective and criminal. These role-play games can release some of your inhibitions. Also, playing certain roles helps to know things to say and actions to take in these scenarios.

Reward and Punishment

The reward is essential for a dominant-submissive relationship as well as punishment. If the Sub successfully completes the mission on time, the Dom could give them a present. On the contrary, if the Sub doesn’t make it or breaks the rules, the Dom could take some punitive measures. Reward and punishment inject new impetus into your plays. It would be fun to challenge something difficult. Above all, safety first.


Bondage could be an incredibly sexy way to showcase your dominance over the Sub. Tie the Sub down and leave them bound and vulnerable in your power. Will it be an exciting evening of sensory deprivation or a playful session of feathery tickles? It’s up to you.

Exciting Toys

Why not introduce some exciting toys to further intensify your plays? There’s a large selection for you to choose from: blindfolds, collars, ball gags, nipple clamps and so on. Each of them will open you up to a whole new world of dominance and submission fun.

Do you have any other questions? Please share in comments, and we will do our best to get it solved.

If you are going to engage in this type of relationship, read this blog to ensure  your relationship work well – Help Your Dominant-submissive Relationship Work Well